Gender, A Topic or War? (Part One)

Featuring Matt Walsh in the centre, who seeks an answer for the future of his children

Introduction

What does ‘Gender’ mean? If we ask each other this question, we may get a definite answer or we may not. In today’s society, gender has been a complex and contentious topic that has sparked many debates and controversies. Compared to the definition of gender, there is another question behind it worth paying more attention to, which is, what are we really posing about gender before we even discuss it? Gender is indeed an ongoing topic, but chances are people get anxious about it and either rush into quarrel or stay out of it. It’s interesting how people care about some aspects of the gender issues while neglecting others, and wherever there is ignorance, there is unfairness, eventually this may lead to more problems. If you have the same doubt as I do and are not necessarily looking for a definition but a possible midpoint we can chew or lean on, you might want to follow this review of two documentary films: What Is a Woman? & The Red Pill. While What Is a Woman? focuses on the biological and traditionalist view of womanhood, The Red Pill explores the controversial issues of men’s rights. Both films have faced criticism and controversy from different groups and highlight the need for more respectful and constructive dialogue between them.

The Poster of The Red Pill, I have to say that this one looks more engaging.

Before We Talk About Gender

I had done my research, and I knew many people hate these two films. They offer two different perspectives on gender issues, and both have strengths and weaknesses in terms of their rhetoric, bias, and accuracy. I can see why people can be upset about gender issues, but for my part, I felt relief watching these two films, and it was even more illuminating to have them watched in a row. Not only were they informative about gender issues, but they provided me with a common ground where I can find my own balance from it. Both films use interviews, narration, editing, and music to convey their messages but differ in their tone, attitude, and approach. What Is a Woman? adopts a confrontational and dismissive tone that aims to expose the absurdity and danger of “gender ideology”, while The Red Pill adopts a curious and empathetic tone that aims to explore the misunderstood and neglected issues of men’s rights activists. They inspired me to be more concerned about gender issues. People hate each other all the time, but the essence of film should always be about love.

Walsh trying to ask people in the feminist movement about his question.

I used to be very careful when discussing gender (and I believe that I’m not alone), but worrying too much that I might be suddenly accused of saying something I wasn’t aware of and didn’t mean was kind of stressing me out. In most cases, I had no place to explain myself when the counter-comment was built on hate. I was like, ‘Hey, you don’t even know me, how do you know that I don’t care about these problems.’ I mean, I’m an ordinary person with normal feelings. I only have one singular mouth, and though there are mixed feelings and thoughts in my mind, I only get to express one of them at a time. There are always problems; humans are troublemakers, but if we don’t leave enough space for each other to talk, which is simply about trying your best not to shut people up before they finish, then the real problems may never be heard and solved.

Although the two films used very different methods to get their distinct thesis, they have one argument in common—When it comes to gender issues, there are more voices being neglected than being heard.

A Father Who Wants to Be There

In What Is a Woman? Walsh portrays himself as a father of four who is concerned that his children may be influenced by gender issues and make regrettable decisions before fully understanding themselves. Under Folk's camera, Walsh begins his journey by seeking a definitive answer to the question 'What Is a Woman'. Walsh's questions are mostly leading, implying his own position or attempting to reveal contradictions or inconsistencies in his interviewees' arguments. He frequently interrupts or talks over them, especially when they disagree with him or challenge his beliefs. He also employs sarcasm or mockery to dismiss or ridicule their arguments or identities. For instance, he asks a transgender woman about her genitalia and responds with "I don't know what that means" when she indicates that she has both male and female genitalia. He also refers to a gender studies professor as "a very confused man" after the professor reveals his non-binary identity.

Walsh interviewing people on street

As his journey progresses, Walsh's search shifts to "Marry a woman and find out," and he goes home to ask his wife the same question. However, this resolution can be problematic as it objectifies the definition of woman by placing it in the hands of a man, giving him the power to determine the outcome. In other words, men have no place in defining women; it is entirely up to women to define themselves. Nonetheless, let's pause and reflect on what happened at the beginning of the film.

Preceding the problematic resolution, Walsh was a father of four, and he started the whole thing out of concern for the future of his children. He wanted a firm answer, as all parents definitely want a good prospect for their child. Again, coming up with a firm definition of gender can be problematic, but is there anything wrong with asking for a decent future for kids? It is true that Walsh’s interview can be questionable following his ‘inquisitive’ approach and prompt interruption to interviewee, but it is also very clear that Walsh was striving for a concrete reference, like any good, precise value we want our kids to critically think about. He focused on the time when a kid might be helpless in understanding the world and himself. Walsh was aware that a kid can eventually make the decision themselves, but as a father, he’s obliged to help them.

We cannot expect a kid to learn how to walk or talk before we even instruct them. According to what Gert Comfrey, the gender-affirming therapist, said in the film, affirming one’s gender is one’s private journey. Well, then when it comes to a kid, the least we should do is to help them fully prepare for their journey. Standing there doing nothing and telling them ‘it’s your own decision to make’ can be a support in adulthood but completely the opposite in puberty. There was a heartfelt quote in Walsh’s journey that the parent doesn’t want the kid to regret their decision and ask the parents ‘where were you?’. At this point, Walsh simply wants to be there at the right time for his kids, whatever problems may encounter, or however controversial the thing can be, he felt he ought to be there.

Walsh in Africa asking the same question

Not Supposed to But Yet to

There are definitely ways that Walsh's approach could have been done differently. First and foremost, it is important to approach discussions about gender with respect and an open mind. Interrupting, mocking, and belittling interviewees is not only disrespectful, but it also shuts down any possibility of productive dialogue. One possible way to approach discussions about gender is to listen actively and ask open-ended questions that invite the interviewee to share their thoughts and experiences. It is also important to be aware of one's own biases and assumptions, and to be willing to challenge them in order to gain a deeper understanding of the topic.

Please Click to Continue Reading the Second Part: Gender, A Topic or War? (Part Two)