The Existential Hell of Oscars Coverage (And How to Fix It) 

Look, did I want to watch the Oscars? Not in the least; they’re too predictable to be worth watching anymore. But then American Fiction and The Holdovers were nominated and, well... I’m foolishly hopeful at best, so I watched juuuuust in case there was a last-minute upset.

There wasn’t, of course. I hate Oppenheimer more than ever now.

Still, though, I found the ceremony surprisingly enjoyable this year. Not because it was particularly good, though. Rather, I was excited every time the ceremony started back up because the Oscars commentary show that came on during the breaks was absolutely intolerable. Then again, what should I have expected? They just highlight everything that’s wrong with the ceremonies in the first place.

Perhaps your experience wasn’t as awful as mine, but by virtue of being abroad and the stingiest person you’ve ever met, my best option was using a VPN to watch the British coverage on ITV. Jonathan Ross, the host, is a generally well-liked comedian and seems affable enough, but my god was it awful.

I can’t help but wonder… did the guests want to be there? Because they sure seemed to either barely know each other or know each other a little too well - kind of like how during the awards for actors, the nominees either got praise from someone who was either their intimate, lifelong friend or a vague “you’re cool” from someone who didn’t seem to have ever met them before. That’s not even mentioning the special guests on the commentary show, who ranged from a past Oscar winner from a minor category (interesting enough) to a guy who was a background dancer in “I’m Just Ken” (who are you???).

Really, though, the worst part of the show was how Ross and his guests just couldn’t stop reminding us of how FUN and INTERESTING the Oscars were, and how they’re SO MUCH BETTER this year. It felt like borderline brainwashing, like if they kept talking about how great the ceremony was, we might somehow believe it. Honestly, thank god for Ben Bailey Smith, who seemed to be the only person on the show with a brain. He seemed genuinely annoyed during the entire broadcast, complaining about how films that deserve to win wouldn’t and explaining how predictable the Academy is.

Part of my appreciation for him might have come from the fact that he had the same opinions as me, but that doesn’t matter.

Anyway, between all that and the jokes constantly failing to land, I ended up desperately excited for the ceremonies to continue each time I saw Ross’s face. Every time another break started, I couldn’t help but remember Sartre’s infamous quote : Hell is other people.

And yet, despite looking forward to the ceremony to get away from Ross, I didn’t enjoy the ceremony itself. Ross didn’t make the Oscars more enjoyable, and I still turned off the broadcast once Oppenheimer’s Best Picture win was announced because I’d gotten the disappointment that I’d come for.

But perhaps, in another world, I would have kept watching. Perhaps, there’s a better way.

The Oscars are always going to be bad. They’re too in love with themselves and their image to choose any remotely interesting winners, let alone have a host that might actually bring a refreshing self-awareness to the ceremony. But even if the Oscars won’t change, the commentary shows could. The right host could bring some sarcasm to the ceremony while also adding some depth with some insightful guests.

It would be hard to do. After all, if your channel gets the “honour” of broadcasting the Oscars, you’re probably afraid of offending the Academy and never getting the rights again. But if the Oscars would allow it or even encourage it, maybe they’d seem a bit more human and actually become an event worth watching again. If things stay as they are though, well, I doubt I’ll be the only one going to bed early next year.