Super Punch: Who’s the strongest? Who knows

What combination would take down any criminal, villain or ne'er-do-well? For me, it’s the combination of an alien with godlike power that’s known across a large portion of the (DC) universe and some random bald guy in a yellow costume.

Superman and Saitama (One Punch Man, in case you didn’t know) are some of the most powerful heroes in fiction. They each have the ability to destroy planets but control themselves to the point of only knocking out their opponent. How would these two interact if they ever met? Keep scrolling if you want to read my two cents.

(From the perspective of a civilian)

You’re walking home from work and can’t wait to pass out after the day you’ve just had. However, the moment you get to the door, a flash of light and what sounds like thunder completely disorients you. The next moment, you’re in the middle of nowhere with tears in space all around you. The tears look like someone took scissors and cut holes into space, each hole leading to a new strange world. The sight of all of this makes you feel queasy as if you’re about to throw up.

The only other living creatures are some weirdo in a metal suit laughing and screaming about world domination like out of a Sunday cartoon. The other person is a bald guy in a yellow hero costume.

That’s the moment you realize what’s happened: some psycho got his hands on technology or gained powers and decided to do something crazy again. While being terrified to the point of being frozen and internally cursing your luck, a figure flies into view. It was a sight you couldn’t forget even if you wanted to—it was Superman. Seeing the world-famous S symbol on his chest instantly gives hope for the grim situation.

The next second, the yellow bald guy comes up and asks “who are those guys?” Not knowing the villain was understandable, but not knowing Superman didn’t make sense. After responding to his question, the Baldy still looked incredibly confused. While the two of us are speaking, Superman is listening to the villain's monologue. The villain says he was ignored by society and now with his new powers he’s going to create his own “perfect world”, real original. Before the conversation could continue, Superman arrived in front of us. He was about to take the Baldy and me to safety before the fight began.

The villain, enraged by the perceived slight of being ignored, decided to attack the group. A spatial tear opened, and a monster that looked like something out of H.P. Lovecraft's nightmares appeared. The creature stands a hundred feet tall with the head of an anglerfish and the body of a man. The beast immediately lunged at Superman with the intention of tearing him to pieces. Before you have any chance to react, the massive angler-headed fish man exploded into pieces.

You’re standing by yourself in a daze with pieces of monster falling all around you like raindrops. You have no idea what just happened. The monster was attacking, and then it just died without any resistance. Superman and the Caped Baldy stood where the beast used to be, staring at each other. Superman was shocked, and the bald man was mildly surprised. Since they weren’t too far away, you naturally heard their conversation. The baldy complimented Superman for his strength, and the man of steel couldn’t help but express his amazement at the other party's abilities.

You rub your temples in confusion; the most powerful hero in the world was amazed by someone’s physical ability. How strong was this hero you had never seen or heard of? The villain, not having overheard the exchange, assumed it was Superman who killed the creature he summoned. More portals opened, and waves of horrible beings from other dimensions came out in droves.

The summoned army was so numerous that it covered the sky and blocked out the sun. If you weren’t looking at the sky, you might have thought the sun set early. Feeling like this is where you’re going to kick the bucket, you ask the two heroes to escape with you in tow. However, when you turn around, they’ve already disappeared, and at the same time, you hear explosions above you and instinctively look up. All you can see are blurs hitting monsters and blowing them apart with incredible force.

Each second that passes, countless monsters are crushed and fall to the earth in chunks. The villain didn’t even register the bald man, assuming he ran away, and Superman is the only one fighting. After a minute, the sky was clear, and the two heroes appeared in front of you, conversing like an apocalyptic event hadn't just occurred. Superman asks the yellow-clad hero “Would you mind telling me your name?” while offering a handshake, and he casually replies while shaking his hand, “It’s Saitama.”

The duo then turn to you, the frozen person who hasn’t quite processed everything that’s happened so far. They both ask if you’re alright, and Superman apologizes for not bringing you to safety. You can only nod and reply that you’re okay, at least physically. Psychologically, that’s for your future therapist to tell you. After confirming your safety, they turn around and face the villain, who remains indignant and ignorant of the situation, still believing he can win.

At this point, Saitama (the bald hero) asks nonchalantly why Superman hasn’t taken him down. After all, with his speed and strength, it shouldn’t be a problem. The world's hero smiles apologetically explaining that the villain has lined his suit with a shield powered by Kryptonite. Saitama, puzzled, asks what Kryptonite is and why it can stop such a strong hero. This time, you jump in and explain on instinct like a die-hard fan that Kryptonite is Superman’s weakness and its history.

Saitama responds with an impassive face, saying, “They use pieces of your destroyed planet to kill you, that’s messed up.” Superman nods his head with a sad expression on his face. The exchange is almost a revelation to you, you’ve never considered how Kryptonite being used against him could emotionally shake the hero. All this time, you’ve been looking at him through the lens of a fan, but not as another person.

You also thought of Saitama as someone not worth any attention from his bland appearance. Yet this man possesses strength that even Superman is impressed by. You’ve lived in a world of people who have an imposing look to match their ability. Seeing Saitama has forced you to reevaluate your views on what heroes can look like.

Before you can express any sympathy to Superman, Saitama begins walking towards the villain. He looks back at me and Superman, saying he’ll be back in a second. Superman asks him to wait, but is ignored, and new enemies are being summoned at a much faster speed. The villain notices Saitama walking towards him, amused by his bravado. Deciding not to waste any of the interdimensional monsters on nobody, he simply swats Saitama with a backhand.

The moment the villain's hand hits Saitama’s face, there is an audible “BOOM!” and the air bursts. A triumphant look adorns the villain's face for a second, but the next instant it gives way to confusion. His hand is buried in Saitama’s cheek, but there’s no damage. Saitama raises his arm while the villain is still confused and casually hand chops his shoulder. Without any resistance, the hand chop shatters the villain's shield and armor as if they were made of glass.

Saitama turns around, giving a thumbs up with a slight smile on his face, and says, “Job done.” Superman, after finishing his fight, was exasperated and told him that they needed him to be conscious to close the portals. The smile on Saitama’s face freezes, and he turns around with a sweaty and ashamed face. After trying to wake up the villain and failing, they could only wait for him to regain his senses. At that moment, something walked out of one of the portals. It was humanoid in appearance but lacked a nose, eyes, and other distinguishing features.

An existence that was like the manifestation of an abyss appeared, and next, it tried to swallow you. That’s what you think when you see the giant crater where you used to be standing. Superman was standing next to you, clearly having saved your life in the instant the creature attacked. The abyss-like creature seemed annoyed and decided to consume us all in its darkness. Saitama walks forward with a serious expression on his face; you haven't seen up to this point.

He prepares to throw a punch, and Superman, seeming to have sensed his intention, shields you with his body. At the same time, you hear in a low voice, “Serious Series: Serious Punch.” You fall unconscious after hearing that and dream of seeing a force that could destroy the world. You wake up on some sort of island and see Superman and Saitama talking next to the villain, who is tied up. The two notice you're awake and ask about your condition for the second time.

After confirming that you’re still breathing, Saitama makes an incredibly bold suggestion to the Man of Steel, “Let’s fight”. Superman has a surprised look with one of his eyebrows lifted. You are dumbfounded with wide eyes and ask him “Why do you want to fight?” He replies matter-of-factly, “You're strong”. Superman, still confused, just smiles and refuses kindly. Saitama offers an alternative to arm wrestle. After sighing, Superman sighs and says “Alright.” They both sit and use a nearby boulder as a table.

Both of them immediately began exerting force; the boulder shattered instantly, but neither of them stopped. Every time one person started gaining the advantage, it was as if the other person started growing even stronger. This stalemate lasted for a minute at most because after that, the island broke apart and started sinking. Superman reacted quickly and picked you and the villain up and flew into the air. Saitama, however, couldn’t fly, so he was soaked. Both of them couldn't help but laugh. Afterwards, you were dropped off at home and said goodbye to the two heroes. Finally safely home, you passed out on your bed.