This article contains my daily hallucinations, I’m sorry if it’s stupid or very strange (?
Several years had to pass for me to realise why I liked watching Shrek 2 so much, and also Shrek the Third. Yes, the soundtrack of both films is exquisite, and many times I put those films on only to sing and dance during those parts, but… also to see him, Prince Charming. I’m not very proud to admit that he has always been one of my many guilty pleasures. He’s narcissistic, arrogant, and thinks he’s the centre of the world, but I like him, seriously. He has a certain something that attracts me. Maybe it’s that confidence of his, or the one he tries to show, that drives me mad. I don’t know! We’ll find out together…
Now, understanding or trying to empathise with Charming isn’t easy at all. At times I still hate him, it’s not as if I pretend to be stupid about all the things he’s done. But I also make the effort to look deeper into the character: what motivations he has or what reason or circumstance makes him the way he is.
To begin with, the first problem is his mother: the Fairy Godmother. Since Charming was born, she has been shaping his narrative, designing and planning his future: what he will do, what he will be like, and what recognition and achievements he will obtain. Instead of seeing him as a son, she sees him as an extension of herself. For years she devised the moment when her son would rescue Fiona, they would marry, and he would become King of Far Far Away. She would have obtained even more power than she already had. I’m not saying she doesn’t really love him, because she does love him very much, only that, like every manipulative (and even narcissistic) mother, she infantilises him too much. She makes him believe that eeeeverything he does, whether good or bad, is fine. She didn’t teach him about empathy or justice, because she wasn’t like that. Charming learned to be like his mother, to act like her, with a fake smile, stupid poses and empty speeches.
His mother made him believe he deserved the applause, the praise, Fiona, the whole kingdom. He truly thought the world itself belonged to him simply because he was him, because he lived in a lie. That fairy tale script his mother invented turned him into who he is now. Something similar happened to Fiona, because she also believed the little tale of the maiden who had to be saved by the handsome Prince, who would then marry her and they would live happily ever after. Lies shaped them both. But Fiona’s story continued very differently: she met Shrek and Donkey, they changed her mindset and made her see, with time, that the whole idea was stupid. No one had to decide her future, nor did she have to follow a script to be someone. She didn’t owe anything to anyone either. No expectations. On the other hand, Charming only had the Fairy Godmother. No one else to tell him things as they truly were. He only carried expectations: to be the hero, the prince, the ideal, because that’s how his mother had decided it.
We don’t see that he has a father, or well, there’s no mention of him at any point. It’s likely the Fairy Godmother herself made him into her personal project. So: he grew up without male role models, had no limits, was very dependent on his mother, and continued believing the fairy tale because, without that in mind, he honestly doesn’t even know who he is.
You’re following me a bit, right? Or maybe I’m saying lots of stupid things, maybe yes… Well, I’ll continue.
I need to help him. He needs me. I’ll tell you a bit of what I’ll do to “fix him”. It won’t be easy, but I don’t think it’s impossible either. OR IT IS, but I’ll do it anyway. All for my arrogant blondie.
HE NEEDS TO LEARN FROM HIS FAILURES
After that tower fell on him and almost killed him, I saved him. No one noticed that I took him with me and healed his wounds. At first he was obviously very resentful and offended by my help, because according to him he would have preferred to die rather than continue enduring the kingdom being ruled by ogres. But I told him for his own good to forget those silly things.
For days and nights we talked and reflected on what he had lived through, and everything he lost for being stupid. Of course, he used to look at me with a bit of contempt, but the more days passed, the more fond of me he became. I told him that we could all make mistakes, but what mattered was accepting them and learning from them. I suppose he understood it, although not completely, but he has been trying.
“MOMMY” WON’T COME TO RESCUE YOU ANY MORE
We also talked, well, I talked, about the influence my own mother has had in my life and how manipulative and narcissistic she has been for a long time. Charming listened to me very attentively when we talked about this. I mentioned that she wanted to control everything I did and that if I didn’t do what she asked, she would be very disappointed, and she let me know it. That nothing I could do or show was ever enough for her, and that little by little I was also feeling worse and worse, more useless.
He also opened up a little: he told me he used to cry in his chamber over the things that didn’t turn out the way she wanted, that she made him feel insufficient and that’s why he has always wanted to prove he was the best, in everything. The important thing about all this is that he gradually distanced himself from the influence his mother had, where she made him believe she controlled his story.
FACING HIM WITH THE TRUTH
It took him a bit longer to understand that no one owed him anything, neither love nor much less admiration; that he had to earn things by doing good, not evil. He also had to take off that “mask” that didn’t allow him to show himself vulnerable, human. He has cried before, and he will cry afterwards, and acting cold and calculating would never benefit him.
In those conversations I went over the important points, which we should continue exploring.
“You don’t depend on others. Your worth isn’t determined by anyone but yourself. Neither audiences nor applause.”
“Make your own decisions, without thinking about your mother or what she would want.”
“Have real motivations, not fantastical ones.”
NOW HE HAS CHANGED
Well, it hasn’t been a huuuuuge change, but at least he doesn’t think all the time about ruling Far Far Away. Now he’s interested in other areas, like singing. Although his voice still isn’t the best…, he has been trying to improve. He really is accepting help now. He no longer gets angry when I tell him he’s saying “politically incorrect” things. Days go by and he is more and more different, in a good way, of course.
He’s beautiful. Yes, I can’t resist his beauty. He is… Charming. He’s no longer the same guy as before, I’m “fixing” him little by little. We still talk a lot. We listen to each other. We both needed to be fixed. You can’t always do things on your own, you know? You also need someone who’s there with you.
He used to get angry when I talked about Fiona’s relationship with Shrek, but he also understood that they helped each other, understood each other and listened. They come from different worlds, just like he and I, but in the end they’re very similar.
I like this new Charming. I know that as time goes on, he will continue to improve more and more.
He has left behind his madness with fairy tales and stupid crowns. He doesn’t need any of that, just to be himself, with what he has.
You should meet him too someday. He has his moments of anger, he’s like his mother, but when I hug him, he stops acting like an idiot.
It turned out to be a good idea to save him, to fix him. I thought I would become a bit like him, because for a long time I thought I was someone like Charming, but no, I never really was. I felt understanding, or rather, compassion for him, for what he has had to live with his manipulative mother.
Things are going well. Of course he’s still not used to real work, but he’s trying. When he got his hands dirty with mud, he got furious, I told him it wasn’t such a big deal, that he could wash his hands, and his expression no longer showed as much anger. He’s learning to be more gentle too.
In a few years he’ll be unrecognisable. Although I have to be honest, I did like his arrogant personality a little. It had a particular charm. But now I like the guy he is now more, the one who recognises his mistakes and problems, who tries to solve and understand them.
It’s difficult, but not impossible to change a mummy’s boy.
YOU HAVE TO GIVE ANOTHER CHANCE
Charming only needed a gentle soul like me. Someone who would be with him. He’s won the jackpot with me and I with him. At first I thought all this would be a complete failure… but no.
Now he likes reading. Before he couldn’t even look at a book. He spends all his time reading. He turned out not to be illiterate like I thought.
He’s also learning to wash his own clothes and all that. If you saw him now, you wouldn’t believe it.
Yes, second chances are necessary.
Mrs. Victoria Charming
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