DISCLAIMER: *SPOILERS AHEAD* In order to vent my frustrations properly while also respecting the hundreds of technicians and artists who brought this show and season together, I’ve decided to write my review in two parts.
Part I will discuss the points of the show I struggled with or choices I felt were weak.
Part II will discuss the merits of the show and choices I felt were strong.
At the end of the day, while my list of grievances is quite long, I appreciate what they tried to do and how difficult it is to end a show as beloved as Stranger Things. So, I’ll do my best to be fair.
It just… wasn't what it needed to be, was it?
Sure, compared to finales like Game of Thrones, we were in good hands. However, if you compare the fifth season to any of its predecessors, it doesn't really hold up. Even the controversial third season honours the world, story, and characters more than this one did.
My thesis is that the scripts, above all else, were what poisoned the well. Yes, some performances were spotty and the production design was hardly up to par with what we're used to from this show (despite the overwhelmingly larger budget). Yet, it was the script that demanded awkward, expository, and cheesy dialogue to be delivered across the longest and most poorly paced scenes the Duffer Brothers have ever offered.
It hardly makes sense how the story structure could be so weak after the Master Class that was Season Four. Causality was abandoned and instead scenes were driven by heart-bleeding monologues masquerading as character growth. Things just happened one after another, sometimes without being motivated at all by scenes prior.
Thus, I've listed my grievances in no particular order…
GRIEVANCE 1: Research D&D… like, at all.
History check? Nat 1.
Okay, for the most part the world building was actually quite fun. HOWEVER, I take issue with the fact that the Duffer Brothers laced D&D through the show and then didn't do the very small amount of research that was necessary to get some things right. It can't be the calling card of the show and then be plagued with inaccuracies.
To set the VERY nerdy record straight:
Sorcerers weren't officially added to D&D until the year 2000. So, all that crap about Will being a sorcerer? Complete nonsense. What's worse, it didn't make sense to call him that anyway? They claimed over and over that Will's powers were innate (which defines a sorcerer), but they absolutely were not innate? They were being siphoned from Vecna… which very accurately describes the Warlock class (not introduced until 2004, though).
While I concede this is a small, insignificant point to many… as someone who plays the game, it felt like they were being deceitful. Flaunting something you love around without the simple respect of knowing a damn thing.
GRIEVANCE 2: Will Byers' character malfunction.
This grievance is a long one.
Will has on and off again become arguably the most important character in the show. It is his kidnapping that sets the entire story in motion and his connection to the upside down is what bookends the series.
For the first four seasons, Will is what I call the Frodo-type Protagonist. His strength is in his endurance. Mark Grayson from Invincible (2021-present) is another example of this. Will Byers largely suffers throughout the show and his role is simply to out-fox the enemy or simply to survive against overwhelming odds.
This season we finally see him show real strength and it was incredibly satisfying. Surely, then, it would make sense that Will's role within the party changed? Nope. He's still going to sit with Joyce for 90% of the time and cry about various things… maybe touch his neck a few times. (Don't get me wrong, Part II will cover how stoked I was when he DID get to use his powers).
“The Coming Out” scene was emotional, but it didn't feel right.
I say this as someone who does not share this experience, however. I am straight, and thus my opinions may indeed lack perspective. My intention is for the following remarks to be focused more on the structural flaws of the scene and less on “what that would actually have been like.”
This scene is prefaced with Mike telling Will that Hopper is “five minutes out”. They have five minutes to make sure they're ready for a mission of truly epic proportions… and Will then gathers everyone so that he can tell them something important. This effectively kills any tension the stakes were creating. It rocks the momentum of the season.
It might have worked had Will's admission acknowledged the time constraints… or if ANYONE had? No one's stressed about crossing dimensions to fight against the psychic-meat-demon? Everyone is eerily patient and meaningfully looking to Will as he bears his soul. It's as though everything about their circumstances came to a halt.
I'm confident the reason for this is that the Duffer Brothers wanted to be respectful and give Will's character what he was due. That's totally fair. Will's agonized over his identity and place in the world for multiple seasons and it needed to build to this scene. It was inevitable and important. However, if the choice made is for Will to monologue and fumble through something that vulnerable, maybe don't just insert it while we're getting amped up to see our heroes go into battle. It takes away from both.
GRIEVANCE 3: Jonathan and Nancy's damned union dies the slowest death
I mean, this is a 42-Episode-Gripe that I have with the show.
At NO POINT was Jonathan a viable and reasonable choice of love interest for Nancy. Their union began after he, you know, committed a crime and took her picture without her knowing? While she was changing!?
What makes matters worse is that Steve, a genuinely good person who does the correct thing and smashes Jonathan's camera, then gets punished over and over and over for loving Nancy. This is in part because they played on the idea that Steve was popular and Jonathan wasn't; a common 80s plotline.
However, to be specific to the final season: why am I watching ANOTHER season of Jonathan toiling over whether or not it's going to work with Nancy? How is this different than what Jonathan was feeling in season 4? I'm tired of my greatest wish being for characters to just ACT on things. I'm watching people deliberate for hours of my life. Please, for the love of all that is holy, DO SOMETHING.
Additionally, I do not care about their relationship. It was rotten from the start and it was irritating to watch the loveless saga that ensued.
Glad it's over!
GRIEVANCE 4: Hopper's character vanishes and relies on legacy.
Duck Dynasty's newest member takes a backseat this season and leans toward suicide. Forget what Joyce went through to get him home. Forget how far he and Eleven COULD have come. Let's just write the character like Riggs from Lethal Weapon and hammer home that he's lost someone. In fact, let's just make it his entire character.
Sorry, was that too mean?
Hopper was my favourite character. He was useful, grumpy, crazy, and full of love. Perfect? Not a chance. Annoying? To some, for sure. At the very least, though, he helped move the plot forward and enriched the characters around him.
Now? He spends most of the time having the same arguments with El that we've heard in previous seasons (a common theme). A weird dance of being protective while also implementing combat training ensues over and over.
GRIEVANCE 5: Eleven's arc is just that she's a hypocrite?
I'm sure there are people out there who enjoyed El's choices… or, I'm willing to speculate. However, I don't appreciate that her decision comes at the tail end of losing her mind at Hopper for wanting to do the same thing. Why has their relationship and the sum of their characters boiled down to a “who can die a martyr first” competition? Beats me.
GRIEVANCE 6: Joyce's character stops progressing, with an unearned final blow.
This one really pained me. Joyce deserved that ending; she deserved to deliver the killing blow. Yet, the Duffer Brothers decided that she didn't need to earn it?
By virtue of Joyce having suffered so greatly throughout the show, it appears the writers felt it reasonable to bench her. She spends most of the show glued to Will's side, having incessantly long heart-to-hearts that aren't often warranted given the circumstances they're in. In fact, the amount of long, drawn-out conversations across the board dramatically lowered the stakes full stop.
Yes, I understand that the majority of what she's been through is having people she loves taken from her. Beginning, of course, with Will being taken. It makes perfect sense that she wouldn't want to let him out of her sight. However, we have also watched Joyce go from a terrified mother fighting off a demogorgon to someone who infiltrates soviet Russia to rescue Hopper from a prison camp/gladiatorial ring… SURELY she's owed some growth? After four seasons, making the audience sit through countless scenes of Joyce babysitting a 21-year-old Noah Schnapp.
(Part II will cover the few brief moments of bad-assery… because they DID happen).
GRIEVANCE 7: The Production Design
The production design really only suffered in the upside down, specifically in forested areas. Or the red space in Vecna's mind. It was painfully obvious we were not in an alternate dimension, but on sparsely decorated sets with really poorly done practical lighting effects (the red lightning was absurd this season).
However, even in my criticism I want to say that PD is an extremely difficult department to do without extraordinary resources. My assumption is not that the team failed at their job, but that they were not given similar resources to past seasons.
GRIEVANCE 8: Holly and Max start a podcast instead of escaping.
I don't really think I need to say much on this. We're all in agreement…
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, RUUUUUNNNN!”
GRIEVANCE 9: The Final Fight
I am all for a giant monster fight. I think having the Big Bad of the entire series be a giant arachnid-lookin' monster is great! Maybe don't make the top of his head look like a vagina, but to each their own.
What is NOT great, is how rushed this was. Every season thus far has introduced the bad guy and then the party learns how to fight it and beat it over the course of usually around four episodes.
In the event of the largest and most powerful enemy they've ever faced, however, they only needed about 90 seconds to go from knowing it exists to having a (terrible) plan to kill it.
You're telling me that the skyscraper-sized-monster couldn't thwart being stabbed by some makeshift spears? Which to scale are like toothpicks?
You're telling me that Nancy OUTRAN it? I almost flipped a table.
You're telling me the kids SCALED A MOUNTAIN in under a minute!?!??!?!?!?!?
Like, fine, have a big monster fight with zero preparation… but can it please make ANY sense at all? Especially when 80% of the budget clearly went toward the fight?
GRIEVANCE 10: Karen Wheeler deserved a life without Ted
This is an honourable mention.
I watched the finale with some friends and they were quick and passionate to point out that after EVERYTHING that Karen has been through, she deserved to have a life free of Ted.
Perhaps telling the audience how discontent she is in her marriage and then having her always choose to stay with Ted to keep the family intact wasn't the most satisfying way to close her story? Maybe the messaging there is a little outdated?
Don't tell me that's what would have happened in the 80s. I think we can all agree the show departed from that a long time ago and for good reason.
OKAY… I'm done.
Please stay tuned for Part II, where I'm a little kinder… :)
DJG
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