Never a Summer, Always a Tom 

Throughout my life, I've had the misfortune of being on one side of almost every romantic interaction. It didn't matter if they reciprocated even a little, because I idealized their humanness, making even the most mundane person into an intricate three-act-structure plot rom-com that I myself am an avid audience for. I see people like poetry – something to figure out, to make sense of, and to admire (even if there wasn't much to it).

Like Tom, I had my fair share of Summers. Some were tactless, using words to cover their senseless acts of indifference towards me, and at some point, themselves as well. Others were just mean, lacking any form of humanity to treat whomever they love with respect and dignity. The rest were ambiguous – sometimes there, other times, seemingly nowhere.

Now, in the real Tom's case, his Summer wasn't the bad guy. She was honest, telling him up front that she didn't want a relationship, and somehow Tom misconstrued it.

But I understand Tom – because I am a Tom. Looking back at those good moments in a relationship, it's fair to understand that he thought it was going somewhere. There were some scenes of deep intimacy that only a true romantic could identify. See, when you truly believe someone is opening up to you (such as when Summer was telling Tom about her past), it can lead you to believe you mean something to them, that your presence and personhood were important enough to open this secret door. Well, it could be true, among all other possible explanations. Feelings are complex and change, and people aren't just one-dimensional.

As a psychology major, I see how varied people can be. The brain is intricate; even the smallest neurons contain worlds we are still trying to understand. And I think that's the beauty in it. The way I see it, there is so much more to people's lives that I find myself fascinated by them, always curious to hear what they're thinking.

But that could sometimes backfire. Those scenes in 500 Days of Summer where the good days were interchanging with the bad ones, you could easily think to yourself, “What's the point if it's going to hurt you anyway?”

The point, I believe, was very much perfectly described when Ethan Hawke said:

“The one who's in love always wins.”

I get it, though. It doesn't feel like winning 99% of the time. But what good is this life if we don't allow ourselves to feel? To feel all the depths of human emotion and the magic of what it is to love another person. To see the crevices of each part of a person's life, and dive into it with open arms?

I may be a Tom for the majority of my life so far, but I could say that, without a doubt, I don't regret putting my heart out to others. I have loved (and will continue to love) with all that I've got, because it's one of the many ways that make me human.