For as long as I can remember, everything related to mystery, ghosts, the unknown, the inexplicable, and even the afterlife has powerfully captured my attention; especially anything related to vampires, mermaids, ghosts, and spirits.
I also have to mention that since I was eight years old, I haven't considered myself a normal, ordinary girl. I don't know whether to call it a "gift" or some other variation to avoid mentioning it, because that word has many explicit and implicit meanings, and if it's not used with caution, it can cause a lot of harm to myself or others. That's why I try to be as respectful, prudent, and subtle as the good Literature graduate I am.
I think that's why I identify with the characters of Melinda Gordon from Ghost Whisper (a series I recently rewatched and loved) and Samantha (Sam) Manson from Danny Phantom, although there are some things I disagree with about the latter, such as her unhealthy obsession with vegetarian or vegan food. I'm not part of that group... I do enjoy eating meat or chicken and their derivatives. Besides, there's her obsession with black (a color I rarely wear, although I have a peculiar taste for Gothic and Victorian styles, specifically vampires). Now that that's cleared up, let's start with the comparisons and what those characteristics of theirs, with which I'm very familiar, say about me.
As I mentioned at the beginning, the main reason I identify with Melinda Gordon from "Ghost Whisper" is because of her unique gift of seeing, hearing, and speaking with all the lost souls she encounters throughout the show's five seasons. I certainly don't help them cross over to the light, but I've had all sorts of encounters. Some bring me peace, tranquility, and security, which is when I generally feel the presence of guardian angels or my family members who have passed on. Others, frankly… I wouldn't recommend them, not even to my worst enemy or nemesis. I've been having these encounters since I was eight years old, and more than anything, for protection, I research them not only to understand aspects of their nature but also to learn how to confront them and not die trying.
I literally cried with every episode because I found the work she did for these souls and their families so beautiful. It moved me deeply, and I also felt for the losses of Andrea and Jim, and how she suffered because of what she did. I sincerely admire her a lot. I still get nervous when beings from the lower astral plane have crossed paths with me in dreams or at very specific moments in my life.
Of course, over time I understood that, like this character's story, this gift was inherited from my mother's family, as is the case with Melinda. At the same time, I've always felt like I was "out of place" or "the black sheep" of the family because, although I wasn't talking to nothing, I have felt energy, vibrations, and seen "flashes" crossing at high speed. I've also heard knocks, chains, and other things, or my energy would drop to about zero. That's why I was so afraid of the dark when I was little, and I felt terrible every time I had to go to a funeral or the cemetery for a close relative or friend.
I stopped going now because it affects me too much these days, the whole thing about vibes and energies, but it's saved me from many misfortunes or accidents. Once, I went to a shopping mall with a friend. We were going to see the new movie "The Curse of La Llorona" (2019). We missed the 4:00 pm showing and had to buy tickets for the 8:00 pm one. When we left, the vibration in the theater felt incredibly heavy and horrible, like when you know something very bad is watching you, a presence. And when we left, everything felt very strange.
My father and I went to look for him, and when I got home, I turned on the news and it said that five minutes after we left, a poor man had gone crazy and jumped from one of the floors, along with his newborn baby, who was barely a year old. It was a disaster. I still remember the shock my friend and I felt that night, and it was me who told her to pick up the pace, that I didn't like the feeling I had after the movie… Five more minutes and we wouldn't have been able to leave.
For that reason, sometimes this "divine gift" is a warning, but at the same time, it's a double-edged sword because you're never truly prepared for these kinds of encounters, and they can happen at any time of day. Among other experiences, that's what I'm getting at.
I identify with her a lot, because of how she felt as a child due to her "gift," and the close relationship she has with her husband Jim and her friends, which is very similar to the relationship I'm building with my boyfriend now and the one I've always had with my friends.
In that sense, it's as if, in some way, Melinda Gordon's life were or could be my life in the future, not to mention the various complicated situations she has to face, like the daily encounters with death. At least, that's what I hope.
When I watched the entire series again, it was as if my life were summed up in hers. It was a very otherworldly and strange feeling.
On the other hand, we have Danny Phantom's female protagonist, San (Samantha) Manson. While it's true that we don't share her wardrobe or her unhealthy obsession with death, the color black, or even her vegetarian/vegan lifestyle... we do share many things, including: our love for the mysterious, suspense, the occult, and the afterlife.
We also share the "tough lady" image we present to others daily because we don't like to appear weak or vulnerable. That's why she uses her entire "gothic girl" facade to project that tough, cold, and impenetrable image, driven by the fear we all have of exposing our true feelings, our hearts, and our inner world to others.
All my life, I've gotten used to keeping quiet about what I feel, not saying what I think, being prudent, and pretending that everything is perfectly fine when it isn't. I don't know how to explain it; it's as if it generates a great deal of rejection within me. I've always tried to be perfect, to not talk about my feelings, and to shut myself off from my emotions, which clearly hasn't worked for me. I'm trying to change that aspect of myself, but the truth is, that's been my way of surviving my past. That shell, those walls I build, keep me away from the pain.
The other difference is that she always shows herself as she truly is and is proud of it. For me, that's something I've learned to do gradually over time. However, I'm very selective, like her; I know who to be with and who not to be with. But experience itself has trained me in that area.
Another thing we share is our “vampiric” gothic nature; we tend to avoid the sun, especially when it's too hot. We're also creatures of the night; it's our most active time of day. Of course, if I sleep in, I don't stay up until 3 am, but that's the general idea of our style. Another thing we share is knowledge of the afterlife and that sort of thing, the inner and spiritual world.
Like Sam, most of the time I feel misunderstood by today's society or that I don't fit into the current mold. She loves rock, punk, and metal, but I dislike it.
However, as I said before, we share that love and courage towards the unknown, the mysterious, and the hidden. And we don't like to talk about our feelings at all, so we keep them to ourselves. Another point in our favor is that we're both drawn to unusual, unconventional things, situations, and people, and like me, we're against the ”status quo" because we have our own rhythm and we don't go with the flow, but rather against it. While this might not allow us to forge a somewhat "solitary" path, it doesn't diminish our originality, spontaneity, or, much less, our essence—something the world is currently lacking.
For example, Sam fell madly in love with his childhood best friend, Danny, a boy who became a kind of unsung hero, a "supposed public enemy" trying to make the world a better place, and who was also a hybrid of boy and ghost due to an accident that brought him back from the dead. I, on the other hand, fell madly in love with a very unconventional boy who, although he didn't come back from the dead and isn't half-ghost, does share several characteristics with Danny. Like me, we like to go against the grain and respect each other's time and space, understanding that we don't operate the way others want us to, but rather that we have our own effective methods, and I'm proud to have such a special connection with someone as authentic and wonderful as him. I'm so lucky to call him "my boyfriend."
Now, to conclude, what does this reveal about me? Well, for the better, it emphasizes my authenticity, my spark, and my originality, which makes me stand out from everyone else in my community. For the worse, the truth will depend on what each person thinks of me and how they act towards me. For some, I'll be the best friend they could ever wish for, the best girlfriend, the best daughter... For others, envious people, they'll say a thousand things, but honestly, I don't pay them any attention. I just go on with my life. If you like it, great, and if you don't, that's fine too. As long as I'm clear and at peace with myself, everything else rolls off me like oil.
In that sense, I identify a lot with both Melinda and Sam because they both keep doing their own thing, they don't pay attention to the envious, and they keep shining despite the circumstances, never letting their light wither or go out for anything or anyone.
So yes, I'm unusual, I'm original, but I'm myself, and I don't pretend to be someone else. That's how I feel completely unique and special. Because I am unique. The people who have been in my life, and are no longer here, for various reasons, can confirm this.
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