I'm Horny For Your Sadness
Your crush comes up to you, vulnerable and pale. He says: "My father was stung by a bee and died." Gasp. You don't know where to look. What to say. You stare at his lips, suddenly aware of how nice they look. You say: I'm so sorry... But also... Are you as turned on as I am? Don't worry, the answer to that will be the most resounding: yes. Cue the heaving breaths, the tantalizing, almost there kin