'Black Christmas (2006)' Doesn't Compare to the Original

There are occasions where horror remakes can either go toe to toe with their predecessors or at least be appreciated. Sometimes people love them more than the original, and that’s often a cause for ruckus in the horror community. Where 2000s horror remakes are concerned, films like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), The Last House on the Left (2009), and more are some prime examples.

However, in the case of Black Christmas (2006), it can never touch the classic that is the ’74 original. And that’s not just because it lacks the essence which made the first film such a horror classic. There are a myriad of issues that make it an inferior film, unless you’re looking for a slasher that’s not meant to be thought about too deeply. Of course, those are perfectly fine to watch and enjoy, but it shouldn’t have been a remake to begin with.

Black Christmas (2006) follows a group of sorority sisters who are stalked and murdered by a killer who invades their home during a snowstorm. But what they come to find is that the threat isn’t easily dealt with. Unlike the women in the original, these sorority sisters are poorly written, annoyingly indiscernible personality wise, and lack the charm of the core girls in the ’74 film. R.I.P. to Michelle Trachtenberg, but she deserved better in this disjointed film.

The characters are very reminiscent of the worst aspects of the 2000s (especially for horror) and with the interference of the Weinstein’s (who were Dimension Films executives at the time), so much of Black Christmas was tinkered with in the worst ways. Instead of capturing at least a portion of the magic of its predecessor, Black Christmas fails in more ways than one. It doesn’t captivate its audience with topical social commentary or intriguing character moments. Instead, it tries to do too much and not in a campy way.

The backstory that’s provided for Billy is one of the film’s extreme detriments. One of the reasons that Billy is so effective in Black Christmas (1974) is because of how mysterious his motivations are. Similar to Michael Myers (who entered the horror scene after this film), we don’t know what drives him to kill. Providing a backstory for a horror isn’t always unwelcome, but in this case it’s not necessary in the slightest.

In the flashbacks Billy is loathed by his mother for having jaundice, is neglected and treated like dirt by her, witnesses his mother and her lover murder his father, gets raped by his mother and has a child with her, eventually murders everyone but his daughter-sister, Agnes, and the house that the sorority lives in used to be his. Rather than have Agnes be a character that’s discernable from Billy, she’s just a killer who assists him (which is another moment of interference from the Dimension Films executives). She’s also played by a male actor, rather than having a woman play her. It’s certainly a choice that adds nothing to the film or its twist.

In the original Black Christmas, there’s a subplot about main character Jess (Olivia Hussey)’ unwanted pregnancy and adamant desire to get an abortion. For a film in the ‘70s to tackle such a topic was huge and for Jess to stand firm in what she wants is also a major moment. It’s a very memorable aspect of the film that taps into bodily autonomy. Which is currently a topical subject because rights are consistently being taken away in the US in particular. Black Christmas (2006) doesn’t provide its viewers with anything of the sort, though.

The disturbing backstory for Billy is the closest the film gets to exploring anything, and it’s mostly for shock value. And while that’s not always a bad thing (or unusual) for a modern day slasher, it doesn’t provide anything of intrigue to the film. He was an abused kid who turns into a murderous man who isn’t remotely iconic. The backstory is merely an explanation as to who Billy and Agnes are, and that Agnes has been living in the attic.

The remake doesn’t have any characters that are remotely like Jess, fan favorite Barb (Margot Kidder), or Mrs. “Mac” (Marian Waldman) for that matter. It also lacks a strong final girl in Kelli (Katie Cassidy), despite her being played by Katie Cassidy, and that contributes to its ineffectiveness. While Jess has questionable final girl status (as her fate is ambiguous) in the original, she’s still more likable at the end of the day. It’s not mandatory for slasher characters to be likable or even interesting because oftentimes they’re there to die. However, if you’re going to use Black Christmas as a point of inspiration, as it’s a remake, you should try to get something right with your characters.

Throughout the film are sequences of gross out violence (for example: flesh cookies and eyeballs being ripped out) and these scenes are effective in that respect. As an appreciator of gore, the scenes aren’t a failure in making people’s stomachs churn. Does that make the film worth checking out? Not entirely, unless a horror fan is in the mood for a strangely edited slasher with bountiful gory moments. But if someone is looking for a successful Black Christmas remake, they won’t find it here. The only elements this remake even retains from the original is Billy being a killer, minor visual homages, Mrs. Mac is played by Andrea Martin (who was in the original Black Christmas), and most of the killings take place in a sorority house.

A remake of a classic slasher film, that’s often cited as an early slasher, shouldn’t have been treated so carelessly. Nor should it have been a mindless cash grab of a remake. Instead of incorporating backstories and a second killer, more time should have been spent on the sorority sisters and making them more interesting. Not to mention how there was a failure in making Kelli’s sleazeball boyfriend into a proper character (let alone a believable red herring). He’s certainly not an effective red herring like Jess’ demanding boyfriend, Peter (Keir Dullea) who tries to pressure her into not terminating her pregnancy in the original.

There is a more modernized remake from 2019 that serves as gateway horror with its PG-13 rating. But that even fails in a few ways, aside from some scares and a few moments worth taking into consideration. Maybe certain films shouldn’t be touched and should be left alone to be great if they’re still watchable in this day and age? That’s something that many horror fans have pondered from time to time. We don’t need another Black Christmas remake that fails to land its messaging or lack thereof in the case of Black Christmas (2006).

At the end of the day, Black Christmas (2006) is best for a holiday horror watch, a get-together with fellow slasher fans, or for a podcast to pick apart and see where it went wrong. Again, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying horror like this, even the silliest of films can have their place and be enjoyable. But there’s no arguing regarding its status as a worthy horror remake.