Craig Waterman Did Nothing Wrong

I know a lot of people will go watch Friendship and wonder why Craig Waterman (Tim Robinson) acts so strange, but those people don't understand male bonding. It is not as simple as becoming friends over a common interest. It is a chess match of two lone wolfs who must outwit the other, win the other's respect, and, through that respect, acceptance, and through that acceptance, friendship. What I saw on the screen during Friendship was the truest examination of what it takes to make a friend in the modern era. One must take big risks to make a big impact, but, at the same time, one must realize the importance of reading the room. It will not work every time.

It's hard to make new friends. How many friends do people even have? When Craig was tempted by the seductor Austin (Paul Rudd), I was not surprised that his judgement was blurred. Austin, with his perfect moustache and bandana around his neck, is masculinity at its peak. Craig, in his outfit from Ocean View Dining, must've looked upon Austin and seen everything that he hadn't become. To idolize a friend is not weird. It's weird not to idolize them. Friends should be people worth looking up to and respecting. Your network is your net worth, and Craig's net worth is dwindling.

I mean, look at his life. His relationship with his wife, Tami (Kate Mara), is strained at best, and his son, Steven (Jack Dylan Grazer), doesn't respect him. He's picked a career in screentime-retention development — a tough job with demanding expectations. The stress of life can sometimes feel like it's too much to bare. Then comes this strapping neighbour, a weatherman who collects ancient artifacts. It's no surprise that Craig falls head over heels for this guy. How was he supposed to react? He's living his boring, stressful, exhausting life and, all of a sudden, there's this jolt of life in the form of Austin.

When I want to make a good impression, sometimes I can try a little too hard. It's natural. I want people to like me and, in the moment, it can feel like every action is scrutinized. I saw this in Craig. When he goes over to hang out with Austin and his cronies for the first time, I felt his anxiety. Often, I've gone and hung out with an entirely new group of friends and felt that meet-new-people dread. What if they don't like me? What if I embarrass myself? Anything can happen, in a hang out. Anything. To make matters worse, it's obvious that Austin and his crew are close. Like, real close. When they start singing "My Boo" by Ghost Town DJs a cappella, it's clear that Craig is the odd man out. As such, he chooses to overcompensate to make a connection.

Overcompensation and anxiety can make a deadly cocktail. Austin's dumb friends overreacted when Craig catches Austin with a mean right hook during their play sparring. After all, it was Austin who first hit Craig way too hard for a friendly spar. He had calls with CEOs in the morning and this "friend" is jabbing his nose at full force! Craig was simply getting his lick back, and there's nothing wrong with that. When the gloves are on, a fighter should never ever let their guard down. It's not Craig's fault that Austin is a bad competitor.

As for what happens next, look, in the heat of the moment, we have all made mistakes. Should Craig have put the soap in his mouth and started calling himself a bad boy? Hindsight is always 20-20. In the moment, who knows where his anxiety levels were at. I know that, when I start feeling anxious, I don't always make the best decisions. Besides, it was one little lapse. Something the fellas could laugh about later. But Austin and his no-good gang of goons don't seem to understand Craig's humour. They just team up on him and make him feel like a black sheep. It's this kind of toxic masculinity that makes it so difficult for men to have friends.

Austin totally overreacts to the soap-in-the-mouth thing. After the countless hours that he and Craig spent foraging for mushrooms, exploring the sewers, and exchanging mail, I was shocked that it only took one little slip up for Austin to call off the whole friendship. It's just not fair and I'm not surprised that it sent Craig on a downward spiral.

Without a proper support system, anyone is liable to go down the wrong path. When Craig loses Austin, by no fault of his own, Craig chooses to fill the void with other things. He starts drinking in the morning, if only to find another friend at the local tavern. He experiments with drugs, finding a temporary friend in T Boy, but the truth is that T Boy isn't his friend, he's his drug dealer and phone salesman.

Craig looks to his wife for answers, but anyone who has tried to replace their best bud with their wife knows that this is a doomed decision. Yes, a significant other is a great addition to any man's life, but when you want to cut loose — when you want to get away from it all — you need someone outside of the household. Craig learns this the hard way when he takes his wife to the sewer only for her to go missing for multiple days.

This leaves Craig in a tough situation, as he now has to deal with getting Austin back and finding his wife. When she finally returns, he finds out that she had an orgasm while in the sewer. It is her first orgasm in a long, long time. Will Tami ever thank Craig for this sexual awakening brought to her by her husband's keen sense of adventure? Probably not, and that's just not fair.

As time passes, things slowly start to return to normal for Craig. Tami falls back in love with him and his son starts to treat him better. Just because his life is getting back on track, that doesn't mean that Craig must also forgive Austin.

Why should Austin have the satisfaction of brushing off Craig and leaving him in the dust while he gets his dream job, his dream car, and his dream friend group? Revenge is a dish best served at 80 miles per hour.

When Craig takes his new van and drives it full speed at Austin's new sports car, I was cheering for Craig to finally exact his comeuppance. However, Craig had spent his whole life being a model citizen, and his past actions were about to haunt him. If Craig had minded his own business and not kept his residential street from becoming a race track, there wouldn't have been any speed bumps in the way of his perfect revenge plan.

Craig is still the bigger man, even after he crashes Austin's party and holds Austin's friend group at gun point, only to discover the heartbreaking truth that he was replaced by Jimp (like jump with an i). When the gun goes off and chaos ensues in Austin's sick pad, Craig notices that Austin's toupée has fallen off. Instead of taking his well-deserved vengeance and exposing his ex-friend's hairline, Craig takes the high road and protects Austin, once again. If anything, Austin should be kissing Craig's feet because he's the one who kept his career alive and his friend group intact. Can you imagine the hell to pay if everyone found out that Austin was actually bald?

I think Austin owes Craig an apology.