I Can Fix Him: An Elegy for Vecna Spoilers

Okay, so Stranger Things season four is happening soon and I wanted to initially rant about why Vecna sucked as an evil villain. Then the "I can fix him" challenge happened and I thought, "What better opportunity to showcase how Vecna could've been the evillest, baddest villain out there."

Now, I know there is a lot of controversy around the whole cast slowly getting cancelled.

Why'd they make Vecna a psychopath? The story was already dwindling, and then they just took the Mind Flayer's impact away by giving him a backstory. That's honestly my main qualm with him because it took away any real motivation (other than hurting others for the sake of it) from the big, bad evil. It also made him so small and vulnerable that even his transition into the Mind Flayer felt flat and boring. Like, yeah, I've seen a psychopath story before. Give me something interesting. Anyways, that got me thinking about how I could fix Vecna and I realized I had a few thoughts. I started writing the thoughts down and it took on this super weird form... so yeah, here's my weirdly rhyming "I can fix him" poem/hear me out.

An Elegy for Vecna; A Hymn For the Mind Flayer

My man is an evil man. He started off this cosmic entity of darkness lingering in the background, stalking and haunting mere children. My man's a Stranger Thing. Perhaps the strangest thing. My man's the Mind Flayer.

My man was omnipresent and elusive. He came and he went, and he beat the shit out of Eleven. My man was the Mind Flayer.

But, then season four came, and the writers gave my secret, elusive, ever-present monster a pitiful backstory. My man's evillness became boring. My man's just a psycho, man. My man's a child-hating man. A sociopathic supervisor who discovered Eleven. My man's just Vecna, man. My man's a man growing tentacles who wants to make more evil children.

I can do better than that. And, I'm not even a villain.

My man isn't some lame psychopath with a penchant for spiders. My man is a real bad villain. My man is no supervisor. He's a science experiment gone bad. He doesn't want an army; he's the biggest enemy there is.

My man's the Mind Flayer.

I'm Gonna Fix My Man

Cut the whole psychopath story. Spiders, who cares? My man's a traumatized man, but his trauma flares and builds into the Upside Down. Nah, we don't need a boy who killed his parents. Vecna's scary as it is. He doesn't need a supervising job to compensate. All he needs is less dialogue and better motivation.

I'd just kill and resurrect him right off the bat. So I'm the mad scientist, yeah? And my victim's just a traumatized kid. He wakes up not human, but a shadowy mistake. I'm thinking, it's time to embody Dr. Frankenstein: I created, and now I am repulsed. A sprinkle of abandonment issues and an inability to communicate. I evict my little black-mass shadow monster to the ether and close the gate.

Now my man is a confused little boy with no body or support. He was a child turned to smoke. For years, he silently floats around in the darkness, entirely alone; he's freaking out in there, he just wants to go home. Cue the parallel to Eleven and Will Byers; my little, growing monster is the consequence of unprocessed trauma and desire. His rage and fear magnifies and expands. A new, red world forms: the Upside Down is him.

A Royal Degradation

My man's an evil man. He's big and omnipresent.

He slips into vulnerable minds and eats them.

He doesn't need an army of mini test subjects.

My man's the Mind Flayer; he's as powerful as they get.

He is the literal origin.

Make it him versus Eleven. The two accidents

caused by powerhungry scientists in Hawkins.

Eleven is created and the gate reopens.

Out emerges Mind Flayer, shuddering with rage.

Somewhere inside he is real; he is ready to play.

The coolest part is both him and Eleven have the same goal.

They butt heads, battle again, but all the Mind Flayer really wants is to go back home.

Eleven learns how to control her powers;

Mind Flayer gets jealous of the love that surrounds her.

He can't speak, but he tries;

nobody ever hears his cries.

So, Eleven's screwed 'cause Mind Flayer hates her.

Mike loses his shit. Steve and Nancy start some fires.

Eleven slowly reconnects with her mom,

meanwhile my little monster bides his time in the calm.

He expands over the city. He sucks away any possibility

of Hawkins kids from feeling happy.

Anyways, Will loses his mind.

Meanwhile Jonathan breaks down and cries.

The mom is momming with space heaters,

but nothing will defeat my Mind Flayer.

Okay, so season four, Max is possessed.

Mind Flayer's learned how to bend her will and starts to mess

with her mind while Eleven finds ways to best

the monster. Now think about it; the Upside Down is brought

right side up, emotions are fraught

and Eleven prepares for the last face off.

My man's an evil mass

that nobody can surpass.

He's not just a manifestation of psychopathy,

my man's a real king with feelings.

He never had therapy, so the monster in him is his emotions,

and a little bit of communication might just fix him.

Except, yeah, it's too late.

Hawkins has sealed his fate.

Also, Eleven doesn't have to force that mirror reflection.

She is exactly like him except she was saved while he got more corrupted.

So then the face-off is between her and her literal inner demon,

and the Mind Flayer feels more nuanced with his schemin'.

You think I'm done? Oh no, we still need the big bad evil to be more evil.

Mind Flayer's main enemy is dead; Eleven already killed her.

My Mind Flayer starts losing more of his mind.

The longer he stays in Hawkins, the less his actions align.

Think of him throwing one big tantrum,

a really fun emotional degradation.

He actually kills Max, feels guilt, recedes;

comes back to make Eleven bleed.

Okay, yeah, yeah hear me out. So, Eleven and him face off.

Eleven thinks she's got him caught;

but the tables turn so quick.

Mind Flayer throws Max back into the mix.

Eleven tries to save her friend,

but Mind Flayer actually kills her in the end.

Then we see Mind Flayer is still a kid;

he didn't mean to hurt her; he just wanted to fit in.

Eleven screams and shoots him back into space,

but Mind Flayer refuses to ever go back there again.

So then he shoots out his tentacles and possesses Eleven.

The town of Hawkins faces the havoc.

Mind Flayer snaps her neck and then takes over the world.

Everyone in Hawkins lowkey dies; the real Mind Flayer is unearthed.