A Different Man Made Me Feel Like A Loser

Movies need to relax. I literally just want to watch a motion picture in my apartment and forget about the world for an hour or two or three. I don't need the constant reminder that I'm not living my best life. Let me explain.

But first, let me just say that Sea Bass Stan is so freaking back! He did the most in 2024 and I'm so here for it. Who else got a Golden Globe nomination and an Oscar nomination for two different movies? He slayed his portrayal of Donald Trump in The Apprentice and he was even more in his bag as Edward in A24's A Different Man.

Edward has neurofibromatosis (had to Google it), which causes him to have an unusual face—a deformed face, if you will—tumours growing on his face, if we're being specific. Edward thinks that he struggles because of his deformity. His acting career struggles; his love life struggles; his will to fix his decomposing apartment struggles.

As I sat, alone, in my decomposing apartment after a long day at my average job, I felt like I could feel for Edward. He was struggling to get by and he had his face to blame. His apartment, with its dim lighting and decaying roof, being similar to mine was enough to win me over. That was until he turned his back on me.

Edward undergoes a medical treatment to change his face. He comes out with a face like the Stan we all know and love—handsome, superhero-worthy, a smash. With his new face comes a new, successful career, a new, well-lit apartment, and new, beautiful women. It just goes to show that all you need in life is a handsome face and the world will give you what you want.

But, hold on. What does that mean for me? I'm sitting on my couch, trying to enjoy a talkie on a week night, and suddenly I'm faced with all my life failures. Yes, I have a normal face. I'm no Sea Bass, but still, I don't have neurofibromatosis. Yet, I'm watching A Different Man in my crummy apartment, after working my crummy job and I'm watching it painfully alone because my love life is crummy. How was Edward the depressive capable of turning his life around so drastically? Was it really just his face that was holding him back? If that's so, what's my excuse?

I was at a loss. I felt like a loser. I even kind of started to hate the movie a bit. I felt like it was pointing the finger at me for not having my stuff together and it made me feel like it's all my fault. And it might be! But I didn't ask for the reminder. Frankly, I didn't want the reminder. I wanted some classic A24 entertainment but instead I received another dose of existential dread. The more I think about it, the more I think I shouldn't be surprised. Either way, I was damn-near ready to turn the TV off, but then the movie introduced Oswald.

So, with his new face, Edward is getting everything he ever wanted. He even starts dating his cute neighbour, Ingrid, and she casts him in a play she's directing, which is about the pre-treatment Edward. As meta as this is, the new Edward (who now goes by Guy and claims that Edward killed himself) gets the role and the girl. Oswald, a man who also has neurofibromatosis, shows up to rehearsal and Edward's new dream life comes to a grinding halt. Although suffering from the same condition Edward once did, Oswald is not a self-centred mop. In fact, he's a bubbly, British, banter boss.

I don't want to spell out the whole plot for you, but basically Edward's life goes back to being a nightmare once Oswald shows up. As for me, while watching the film in my old sweatpants with my glass of tepid tap water, I started to wonder where my internal dialogue was supposed to go. At the start, I identified with Edward, but early into the second act I started to resent him. Even more so, I resented the filmmaker for making me believe that I was doing something wrong because I wasn't achieving the bare minimum that a person with a normal face should, and was instead living a life akin to someone who looked like The Elephant Man. Oswald's arrival made it clear that Edward had not changed a bit, despite the medical procedure. He's as insecure as ever and twice as insane.

So, now I'm well into the movie and I don't know how to feel. I'm not comfortable in my own skin like Oswald. I'm not a fetishizing director like Ingrid. I'm not a head case like Edward. With all the characters either more charismatic or more crazy than me, I no longer had anybody to identify with. What a relief! When all the dynamics were finally at play, when writer-director Aaron Schimberg finally revealed his full hand, I could finally sink back into my couch and enjoy A Different Man for what it is: a great freaking movie.

Despite the early theme of looks being the deciding factor on what life gives you, A Different Man complicates its theme by pushing toward the idea that it's who you are on the inside that counts. For Oswald, that's great news. For Edward, it's maddening. For me, it was a relief, taking the pressure off me getting my life together and getting a nicer apartment without stains on the ceiling.

At the end of the day, is it so wrong to just be who you are? Edward's disappointment with his life is understandable because it's so evident on his face. Each day he looks in the mirror, he sees this clear sign of the one thing that is holding him back. But, if A Different Man teaches us anything, it's that we should be happy with what we are given. And to fight against nature is to bring destruction.

There could be someone out there that looks identical to you, but that person could easily be better or much worse than you. It comes from a long line of actions and reactions that began at birth. We are so much more than our physical appearance. And all the surgeries, all the physical healing, all the masks cannot change who we are under the skin.

That change, the important change, comes from acceptance. As we learned from Oswald, he was capable of living his best life because he refused to accept that his condition would cause people to treat him differently. That differential treatment was a given to Edward, and his life suffered because of that assumption. And I'm sure that Edward had good reasons to think the world saw him as unlovable, uncastable, unable to have a nice pad. Yet, it was his own inability to get over his physical deformities that caused him to take such extreme measures. It's darkly hilarious that it didn't work out for him.

I'm not sure if there was supposed to be a grand message in A Different Man. The messaging I've covered so far, about loving the skin you're in and stuff like that, is not too deep (surface level, if you will). Maybe the movie didn't need a greater message. Maybe identity politics was enough. And maybe the movie was just such a blast to watch that it didn't need a clear message.

So, maybe I'm not a loser. Maybe I'm only a loser if I believe I'm a loser. I need to be more like Oswald, I guess. Or maybe the message was I just need to be more accepting of myself.